


heart strings into infinity

by maddy_does (favefangirl)



Series: Merthur Week 2021 [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Injury, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 05:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/maddy_does
Summary: When Merlin and Gwen are captured, it gives her time to consider their relationships with Arthur.Day 2 ofmerthur week 2021Prompt: "If we don't get out of here-" "We Will"
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merthur Week 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2211165
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39
Collections: Merthur Week 2021





	heart strings into infinity

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the admins for running this event! <3

It had been reckless, Gwen could see that now. An act of unprecedented stupidity. Who was she, honestly, to think she could help? Saving people, fighting, this was Arthur’s forte, Merlin’s even. But not hers. She wasn’t a fighter. She didn’t even want to be. She wanted peace where she could find it, and reason where she couldn’t. But she’d seen Arthur in trouble and her foolhardy heart had driven her on to try and save him. She couldn’t fight on her own behalf, but would gladly lay down her life for his.

She could see now, though, how idiotic she had been. She was caught. Merlin, captured alongside her in an endeavour to stop her from getting herself killed, was injured. And Arthur, the man whom they were both trying to help, was all the worse for her foolish behaviour. She had done all she could to nurse Merlin’s wounds, but there was little in the cell they were locked in, and their captors were too unfeeling to offer any aid. He was insisting he was fine, but Gwen was not so dense that she couldn’t see the lie.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated for what must have been the billionth time. “This is all my fault. If I hadn’t been so stupid-”

“Hey,” Merlin soothed, taking her hand in his (they were both stained with his blood, the sight made Gwen’s heart ache), “You did a brave thing. You were trying to help Arthur. This is not your fault.”

Gwen only wished she could believe him, but there was the blood, and there were the bars keeping them trapped, and out there somewhere was Arthur, whose worries were only increased by their being taken. She pressed her lips together, then grabbed the cloth she’d used earlier, holding it against Merlin’s wound to try and stop the blood flow. It felt like an act in vain as more blood seemed to drip out of the side, onto the floor beneath him. He was awfully pale now, and just looking at him made Gwen sick with fear.

She knew Arthur would be looking for them, and she had hope he would find them. She had total faith in Arthur, and he had never let her down before. She could almost picture it, him charging down the corridor, slicing at the guards with his sword until he reached the gate. He would snap open the lock, and she would embrace him. He would berate them both for being so careless, then they would carry Merlin out to where the knights and the horses would be waiting for them to take them home to Camelot.

Gwen didn’t need the lecture, though. She was perfectly aware of just how thoughtless she had been. And Merlin, well, he was never anywhere other than at Arthur’s side. Gwen tried not to let the thought eat at her. She knew Merlin was loyal, that he would do the same for anyone else, but she couldn’t help but think how his devotion to Arthur mirrored her own, how his love-

“Merlin,” she said softly. He could barely lift his head to look at her, but she knew she had his attention. “Listen, **if we don’t get out of here-”**

 **“We will,”** he protested, eyebrows furrowing. He placed his hand on top of her once more, holding it down harder against his wound. “We will.”

She shook her head even though he couldn’t see it, but was glad for that as it meant he couldn’t see her tears, either. She wanted to tell him that it was okay, that she understood how he felt for Arthur, and she was only sorry Arthur didn’t feel the same way. That he was her best friend and she loved him, and hoped he hadn’t grown to hate her - that she would rather die than have him see her as anything over than a sister. But the words lodged in her throat like a lump she couldn’t swallow down, so she just pressed harder against his wound and willed it to stop bleeding. It was the desperate act of an equally desperate woman who didn’t want to see her friend die.

Distantly, she heard a commotion. She nearly sobbed with relief. She knew instinctively that it was Arthur come to rescue them both. Merlin, too, seeming to sense he was there began sitting upright. They looked at each other for a moment, and he burst into a grin she couldn’t return. His smile was more than relief, more than joy at being saved. His smile was love incarnate, so bright it burned to look at. It made her own heart all the heavier for the pain she must be causing him, being with the man for whom they both felt so deeply.

The commotion grew closer, and a flash of silver in the corner of her eye finally drew her gaze away from Merlin’s face. It _was_ Arthur, fighting fiercely as the guards approached. Lancelot and Gwaine followed, both equally as ferocious as the king who led them. In no time at all they were at the gates. Lancelot and Arthur continued to fight the evermore men who charged in after them, whilst Gwaine fumbled with the keys. It felt like an age, but finally the gate was open, and the three knights flooded in. 

Gwen rose to greet Arthur, but with barely a look he was straight to Merlin’s side. “You’re injured, what happened?”

Merlin looked from Arthur to Gwen, where his gaze rested a moment, before looking back. As he explained what had happened. Gwaine went to his side to try and pull him up without antagonising the wound. Gwen watched Arthur’s face carefully as he helped Gwaine get Merlin to his feet, the two of them holding him up with their strength as his own failed him. He was injured, Gwen justified. Merlin was covered in alarming amounts of blood, it made sense Arthur should be so concerned with his friend. He looked over his shoulder at her as he carried Merlin through the gates, but she just nodded at him. He nodded back, keeping eye contact a moment more, before turning and stumbling up the corridor with Merlin and Gwaine.

“Are you hurt?” Lancelot asked, dealing with the last of the guards and rushing over to her. He caught sight of her blood stained hands and dropped his sword, running his hands over her torso to check for wounds.

“I’m fine,” she replied, taking her hands in his. “It's Merlin’s blood.”

He looked at her, an intensity in his eyes that far outweighed that in Arthur’s. He looked down at their joined hands and inhaled sharply. “Arthur loves you,” he said softly, not pulling away. “More than anyone.” Gwen wanted to protest it, but knew it would be petty. As though reading her thoughts, however, Lancelot continued. “Arthur loves you as he loves no others, even if he cannot see it.”

Gwen nodded and forced a smile for him. “Thank you, Lancelot.”

Lancelot looked back to her eyes and opened his mouth, but before he could reply someone was shouting his name down the corridor. “We must go,” he said, finally dropping her hands to reach for his sword. He gestured at the open gate, “After you.”

Gwen forced another smile and took off out of the gate and down the corridor, with Lancelot behind her. She tried not to think about what Lancelot had said, nor Arthur’s face at seeing Merlin. It was too complicated, too painful. She loved Arthur, and loved Merlin too, even if in a different way. And she knew Arthur loved Merlin, though in what way she couldn’t be sure. She _was_ sure that Arthur loved her, and Lancelot seemed convinced of this, too. Her feelings for Lancelot proved a further dilemma, made worse by his feelings for her. It was a mess, all of it, and she had no idea how to untangle the webs.

She reached the end of the corridor and emerged into a wooded area. Gwaine was climbing onto the back of a horse, supporting Merlin in front of him. Lancelot rushed to mount his own horse as soon as he reached them. Arthur stood aside, and pulled Gwen into an embrace as soon as he caught sight of her. She held him, looking over his shoulder at Merlin’s part-painful, part-fond expression, and saw Lancelot turn his head out of the corner of her eye. Arthur pulled away and looked at her a moment, before pressing a kiss to her forehead, and stepping aside so she could mount his horse. The others, seeing this, took off, anxious to return to Camelot, no doubt, and to get Merlin to Gaius. 

Arthur climbed on after Gwen, wrapping his arms around her to hold the reins. “I love you,” he said into her ear. “If anything had happened to you, it would have killed me as well.”

“Arthur, I-” she began, but it was lost to the sound of hooves as Arthur kicked to get their horse moving. Gwen sighed and leaned back into his body as they rode, feeling content for the moment, but knowing all too well the burdens waiting for them once they returned to the castle.

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is, really, i just have a lot of feelings about the feelings between these characters and which ones are platonic or not :/
> 
> anyway, if you wanna leave a comment or a kudos they're much appreciated! especially let me know if there's something you think i forgot to tag! 
> 
> i'm taking prompts! if you're interested please drop the prompt in the comments below. if you do send a prompt be prepared for me to take fifty years to fill it because uni is so hard, but i promise i'll try! come say hi on tumblr: [@maddy-does](https://maddy-does.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading, have a wonderful existence.


End file.
